I Don't Believe in Love
by freekharrypotter
Summary: A little bite (make that a humongous bite) of reality for Ginny. She is involved in a terrible abusive relationship with *guess who!* Rated R for language and possible sex. Please review. PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEE. And don't worry. Ginny's fine.
1. Welcome to my world

"Bitch."  
  
The words hurt as much as the slap in the face that followed. Cowering with fear under Draco's anger, I shrink into the corner. Being Head Boy, as Draco was, meant having your own private room. Most people consider that a blessing. I call it a curse from Hell. Draco can do whatever he wants to me. No can hear me scream.  
  
Draco yanked me off the floor roughly and slammed me into the wall.  
  
"You know, babe, you're damn lucky you've got me, because no other guy would ever pay attention to you. You're fat, you're ugly, you're stupid…."  
  
And the list went on. And on. And on.  
  
Finally, Draco hurled me on the floor and told me to "get the fuck out otherwise I wouldn't be able to leave my dorm for a hell of a long time."  
  
I waste no time in agreeing. As fast as I can, I stumble out into the hallway. I wish I could run, but I haven't been able to run for months. Not since I started dating Draco.  
  
Suddenly overwhelmed by the pain that has assuaged my whole body, I sunk down on a statue base. Memories suddenly came back to me. Memories from months ago, that I have managed to push down, keep out of my head. There's no stopping them.  
  
"Ginny, I'm warning you now. Malfoy's trouble. You're going to regret it. Listen to me, Gin. You're going to regret it."  
  
I wish so much I had listened to Ron. But I couldn't. I hadn't been able to believe that anyone, even Draco Malfoy would ever physically hurt me.  
  
And look at you now, Ginny I told myself. Huddled on the base of a statue, unable to walk to your own dorm, a victim of your own naivete`. For that was what I had been. Naïve. For a sixteen year old girl, I have a better understanding of Reality than most girls my age. And I wish to God I didn't.  
  
Tipping my head back, I stared at the high vaulted ceiling. Tears flowed out of my eyes, flooding down my face, mixing with blood and dripping all over my robes.  
  
Draco's voice spoke inside me.  
  
See? Look how pathetic you are. He taunts. Only I would even consider looking at you. And you'd better remember it.  
  
"SHUT UP!" I yelled, aloud.  
  
The voice didn't shut up.  
  
See, you stupid bitch. You fucking whore. I could kill you for that. I really could. Take your neck and snap the shit out of it, just like that. You know I can. And you DON'T want to piss me off, do you now, Ginny?  
  
The voice slowly fades away. I try to retain some of my old naivete`. Tell myself that Draco wouldn't do that. He may be mean, he may hit me, but he won't kill me. Right? Right? Right?  
  
Wrong. Draco would kill me, if he wanted. And I knew it. 


	2. I know he knows

Biting my lip at the pain in every step, I slowly made my way back to the dorm. In the distance, I heard a clock chime. I paused to count the rings. Eleven. I had been with Draco in his room for four hours. Dinner, laughing with my friends, now seemed a million years behind me.  
  
Make that a billion.  
  
Ahead of me, I saw the portrait of the Fat Lady.  
  
"I made it alive!" I thought to myself. "At least I lived through one more day."  
  
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I tried to mop up the blood and tears as best I could. I was bound to have bruises, after all the times Draco had slapped me.  
  
Face dry, I straightened my stiffened, aching spine, and stepped through the portrait hole.  
  
The common room was deserted, all except for Harry and Ron, who were sitting, talking and laughing amongst themselves, in front of the fire. Ron was shuffling his deck of Exploding Snap cards. Both of them looked up when the portrait creaked.  
  
"Hey Gin. Back alive, I see?" Ron greeted me with his usual joke. He had come to accept me and Draco's relationship. But still retained his belief in the Malfoy threat. He had never known how true those words were.  
  
"Believe it or not, I am." My usual dry response. It's automatic. I no longer have to fight tears when I'm with people. I'd become tolerant.  
  
"Hey Gin." Harry greeted me quietly, gazing at me with piercing green eyes. I was relieved I'd stayed in the dim light by the door, so they couldn't see my bruises. The only problem was getting to the stairway that led to my dorm….  
  
"Join us for a game?" Harry continued.  
  
He was studying me. He knew something was wrong. Some faint part of my heart screamed at me  
  
"YES YES!!!! STAY AND PLAY CARDS. THEY'LL KNOW FOR SURE AND YOU WON'T EVER HAVE-" I cut the voice off sharply with the thought "Draco wouldn't like that." No explanation was necessary. "Draco wouldn't like that" was enough to instill a stomach-shrinking terror inside of me.  
  
"Oh, no thanks" I replied, lightly. As if I had just come back from the most wonderful date on the planet. "I'm awfully tired, and I need my beauty sleep!" giggle, giggle. I'm disgusted with myself.  
  
"Oh, all right then." Ron said, eyeing me. Until the last few months, I'd loved Exploding Snap. Until I started dating Draco.  
  
Harry stared at me piercingly. "Yeah, whatever. Beauty sleep. We all know how important that is." His words rattled my very skeleton. He knew. I didn't know how, but he knew. And I had never felt more scared, yet more hopeful all at once.  
  
"Don't we all." I answered, giggling lightly once more.  
  
I should consider a career in movies. I've had enough experience. No one is a better actress than one who lives a lie. 


	3. Therapy sets in

I collapsed on the bed. I was too exhausted and in too much pain to think. But I had to think. Did Harry really know? I hoped he did, yet the thought of what Draco would say if someone DID know, especially Harry Potter, was making my blood run cold.  
  
Suddenly, Draco's eagle owl fluttered through my open window. The owl dropped a note on my lap and glided away into the night. Unfolding the note with trembling fingers, I read slowly  
  
Ginny,  
  
There's a picnic honoring all the officers (you know, prefects, Head Boy) tomorrow. You're coming. Muggle clothes are allowed. Wear your blue sleeveless shirt with your denim skirt.  
  
Draco  
  
Mindlessly agreeing, I set out my clothes for the next day, then changed out of my school robes and crawled into bed. As soon as I lay down though, my mind started working.  
  
I wish there was some humanly possible way to make your own brain shut up.  
  
It's not like you can clamp your hands over your ears and hum.  
  
"Why does he have so much control over you?" My brain asked me.  
  
Shut up.  
  
"Why though?"  
  
Shut up.  
  
"Come on, there has to be a reason."  
  
"I don't know." I answered in my thoughts.  
  
How the hell can I be having a conversation (more like a therapy session) with my own brain?  
  
"I think you can do better than that, Ginny." My brain informed me.  
  
Great. Now my brain is starting to sound like my parents.  
  
"Well…I guess it's just because I know what he'll do to me if I DON'T give in to his control."  
  
"You're afraid?"  
  
"I guess I am."  
  
Wow. My brain must be pretty insightful. Am I turning into a schizophrenic? It's not like it hasn't happened to other people.  
  
"Ginny, you have to tell someone. You have to! It's the only way you'll ever get out of the hell you're living in now! And it's not like YOU'RE going to break up with him any time soon. You're too scared."  
  
"You're right."  
  
"Well, then tell someone! For Christ's sake, tell Ron, tell Harry, tell DUMBLEDORE for all I care! Just don't hide it!"  
  
"I CAN'T!"  
  
"Yes you can! What? Has Draco now limited your speaking abilities? As far as I know, you can still talk!"  
  
"I know I can still talk. But you don't know what Draco would do to me if I told!"  
  
"Ginny, I'm your own brain. I know everything he tells you."  
  
"But if you're my brain, then why are we having a conversation!?"  
  
"I'm the ninety percent of your brain you don't use."  
  
"Great. All you need is German accent and a clipboard, and me on a psychiatrists couch, and we could have a happy little therapy session!"  
  
"You're avoiding the subject, Ginny."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Don't tell me that, Ginny."  
  
"SHUT UP!!"  
  
"You don't want to tell me that, Ginny."  
  
"YES I DO!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I could kill you for that. You stupid bitch. I could kill you. Kill you"  
  
My brain's voice had become soft and dangerous. All to late I realized it was DRACO I had been talking to.  
  
"I'M KILLING YOU NOW GINNY! DO YOU SEE THIS?! I'M CHOKING YOU, KILLING YOU. SLOWLY. SLOWLY. DOES THIS TEACH YOU NOT TO DEFY ME? DOES IT? HUH?"  
  
I screamed as loud as I knew how. I was falling.  
  
Falling.  
  
Falling.  
  
Everything was black.  
  
And I woke up. 


End file.
